Non-Exist-ENT
Well, this DIY ace of spades is terrifying! Poor Darya! If I had my druthers, this black hole into unimaginable horrors would not be my first choice image to ponder just before drawing my last breath. Truth be told, it wouldn't be my first choice image to ponder before pouring myself another All Day IPA. It is evocative of absolutely nothing good. I feel the need to declaw it a bit. I therefore propose two strategies: STRATEGY #1: NEUTRALIZE THROUGH COMPARISON TO STILL MORE TERRIFYING PROSPECTS When David Lynch gets to thinking about scary faces, this business is actually pretty tame. For instance, consider the following soul-eviscerating prospects from shows such as The Air Is On Fire and The Unified Field. How'd you like to turn up "Smiling Jack" in a friendly game of five card stud?: Or maybe face one of the dreaded "Distorted Nudes" as the queen of diamonds: "Head Talking About Billy" looks like a good candidate for the #2 of clubs [Ed: And is ESPECIALLY TERRIFYING in the wake of Part Eight. "Experimental", to say the least.] And Jokers are WILD with good ol' "Person On TV": The point is that it could always be worse. Sure, the "Alien Ace" (as I like to think of it) is quarter-to-sinister, but at least it isn't rapid-descent-into-madness-forty-five, as some of these others clearly are. If strategy #1 feels like cold comfort, though, never fear... STRATEGY #2: RENDER INNOCUOUS VIA JUXTAPOSITION TO LESS THREATENING FARE Make that shit into a bulldog. Plunk it atop some mediocre fantasy art. Children's book that ass. Or use it to shill some execrable pizza. Join me in refusing to lose sleep over this!
6 Comments
Jessica
5/25/2017 01:05:13 am
Terrifying! I think we need more dark ace photoshops.
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Matthew
5/25/2017 08:43:09 am
I thought it reminded me of the old Cootie game at first, which then led me to think about termites, and their unstoppable hunger, eating wood, and paper, and books, which represent wisdom, which could be an owl.
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Matthew
5/25/2017 08:46:01 am
Forgot about this one, too. The key to the cave opening.
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Jim
5/25/2017 02:51:58 pm
Silhouette of the doppleganger of the Evolution of The Arm?
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Leah
6/16/2017 01:47:02 am
I know it doesn't completely look like a devil head, but when I was reading the 'Secret History...' and came to the part with the Parsons explosion, when they mentioned the black devil head with horns I thought of the creepy Ace image. It doesn't have the slanted red eyes or anything, but yeah. We shall see I guess!
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Mr. RoqueMonitoring the situation from a well-designed chair somewhere in Grand Rapids, MI Archives
August 2021
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